Look for the Good!

by

“I used to think I was a perfectionist. I found the tiniest flaws in everything. Then I realized I was not a perfectionist at all; I was an imperfectionist! If I was a perfectionist, I would see perfection wherever I look.” That’s Alan H. Cohen, in this morning’s Thought for Today from Daily Ponderables. It made me smile, because most of us in recovery know that guy. Plenty of us were that guy for years! Cohen keeps going: “At any moment we can see through the eyes of appreciation or criticism. And we will see more of whatever we are focusing on.”

Read that one twice. Whatever we focus on grows. So today, let’s talk about choosing where we point our eyes.

Recovery hands us a new pair of glasses

Today’s Closing Thought in Daily Ponderables talks about learning to see ourselves and others with new eyes, with a nod to Chuck C. and his “New Pair of Glasses.” Then it spells out what that looks like: “We can acknowledge our mistakes without being defined by them, make better choices without demanding perfection, and recognize the good that is already present in our lives.”

This isn’t denial. Looking for the good doesn’t mean pretending the bills are paid or the family is healed overnight. In Success-Full, Living Life with Purpose: Recovery Mode I wrote, “We are not talking about some Pollyanish phony patronizing positivity.” Looking for the good means seeing the whole picture, including the parts that are going right. For a lot of us, those were exactly the parts we skipped for years.

Start with the person in the mirror

The hardest place to find the good is usually inside. Today’s reading in A Day at a Time admits the writer came into the program with the self-worth of a “peeled zero.” Then it asks: “Am I learning that my self-worth is not dependent on the approval of others, but instead is truly an “inside job”?” The reminder for the day is short and sweet: “I will not kick myself when I’m down.”

In Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life! I put it this way: “Winning in life is an inside job.” In the introduction to that book, I shared the switch that changed everything for me: “I started focusing on what is right with me and how to be better!”

Today’s Daily Reflections gives us a picture of how God might see us. The writer’s friend Ed was allowed a litter of puppies as a boy, and every morning there was a mess on the kitchen floor. Ed couldn’t stay angry, because “that’s the nature of the puppies.” The writer adds, “Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth.”

If God can look at our messes with warmth, maybe we can too.

Slow down long enough to notice

Courage to Change has a beautiful reading today. The writer remembers getting down on hands and knees as a child just to watch a caterpillar crawl. Nothing spectacular happened. It didn’t have to. Then comes the hard question: “Remembering this makes me question how many such precious moments are passing me by unnoticed because I am so focused on other things.”

Ouch! In active addiction, we missed a lot. In recovery, we can still miss plenty if we’re always rushing to fix the next problem. Today’s Reminder offers real hope: “Appreciating life’s simple gifts may take some practice, but as I become more aware of the beauty that is all around me, it gets easier to appreciate the beauty within.”

The page closes with this: “Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful . . .”

The Apostle Paul gave the church at Philippi the same advice:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, ESV)

Think about these things. That’s a choice we get to make every single morning.

Five ways to look for the good today

  1. Catch three good things before noon. Write them down. A text from a friend, a hot cup of coffee, and another sober morning all count. Small is fine.
  2. Make a “what’s right with me” list. Write down ten strengths. If you stall at four, ask your sponsor or a friend in the program to help you finish it.
  3. Trade one criticism for one compliment. When you catch yourself picking someone apart, stop and find one thing they’re doing well. Then tell them. Cheerlead others!
  4. Take a five-minute wonder walk. Leave the phone in your pocket. Look for one beautiful thing you’d normally rush past: a bird, a cloud, a kid laughing, or yes, a caterpillar.
  5. Pray about your blessings, not just your problems. In today’s Dynamic Catholic reflection from Feminine Genius, Matthew Kelly says God wants to nourish us through prayer “so that you can discern what should be on the to-do list.” Put “look for the good” at the top of yours.

Find the good, and you’ll find more of it

We can’t control everything that shows up today. We can control what we look for. The Daily Ponderables Theme of the Day puts it well: “as humility replaces the need to control or judge, our recovery becomes visible in the respect, patience, and love we extend to others.”

So follow the three rules: Always Be Positive, Always Be Positive, and Always Be Positive. Go easy on the puppies, including the one in the mirror. Notice the caterpillar. Think about these things.

Life is GOOOOOOOD!!!

Where will you look for the good today, and who will you cheer on once you find it?

Go, Go, Go… Dan 🙂

 

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Reflection note: I wrote this from my own daily readings. Quotes belong to their original authors and sources (Alan H. Cohen, “The True Perfectionist,” via the Daily Ponderables Thought for Today; the Daily Ponderables Theme of the Day and Closing Thought, with its nod to Chuck C.’s “New Pair of Glasses”; A Day at a Time / Hazelden, via Your Daily Reprieve; Daily Reflections / Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., via Daily Ponderables and Your Daily Reprieve; Courage to Change / Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., via Daily Ponderables; Matthew Kelly, Feminine Genius, via the Dynamic Catholic Daily Reflection; Philippians 4:8, The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV); Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life! and Success-Full, Living Life with Purpose: Recovery Mode). I used AI to help organize it and reviewed it before posting.