“To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.” That line from Josh Jenkins showed up in today’s Keep It Simple reading, and it made me smile. Then it made me think, because a lot of us know that eraser well.
Some of us in recovery are experts at erasing. We replay yesterday’s mistake. We rewrite the conversation we botched. We scrub at the page until there’s a hole in it, and meanwhile the pencil sits there, sharp and unused. Nothing new gets written.
Today’s Your Daily Reprieve opened with a note from Lori Deschene that belongs on every bathroom mirror in the fellowship: “Note to self: Beating yourself up for your flaws and mistakes won’t make you perfect, and you don’t have to be. Learn, forgive yourself, and remember: We all struggle; it’s just part of being human.”
You don’t have to be perfect. Read that again!
Perfection is a trap. Excellence is a choice.
In Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life! I wrote: “Perfection is the need to be right while excellence is the drive to take action.” Perfection keeps the eraser busy. Excellence picks up the pencil.
Perfectionism looks like high standards, but it usually stalls progress. If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all? If I messed up, I must be a mess. That is old thinking, and it keeps us stuck. Excellence says something different: I’ll do my best today, own what I got wrong, fix what I can, and keep moving.
The same Keep It Simple reading says it plainly: “It’s okay to make mistakes. But we shouldn’t live a life of excuses.” Notice it doesn’t say we should live a life of punishment either. There’s a healthy road between excuses and self-flogging. It’s called ownership.
Step Ten is a pencil, not an eraser
Today’s Daily Reflections looks at Step Ten and that small, powerful word “continued.” The writer puts it this way: “‘Continued’ does not mean occasionally, or frequently. It means throughout each day.”
Here’s what I love about that. A quick check throughout the day keeps mistakes small. Notice it, say it, fix it, and move on. Big messes come from waiting, from letting things pile up until you have a whole notebook of regrets to erase. Doing Step Ten daily keeps the page clean enough to keep writing.
The work starts inside
The Meditation for the Day in Twenty-Four Hours a Day says: “If your heart is right, your world will be right. The beginning of all reform must be in yourself. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you take it.”
That isn’t a call to be harder on yourself. It’s a call to be honest with yourself, and then kind. Winning in life is an inside job.
Al-Anon’s Courage to Change adds a piece many of us skip: self-care. After we’ve done what we can about a problem, the reading suggests a walk, some music, a call, a good meal, even a nap. In its words: “Even though I may be powerless to change my circumstances, I certainly am not helpless.” Taking care of ourselves isn’t a reward for being perfect. It’s fuel for the next right action.
Matthew Kelly, in today’s Dynamic Catholic reflection from Feminine Genius, says it another way: “Anyone or anything that doesn’t help you become the best version of yourself is too small for you.” That includes the voice in your own head that keeps calling you a failure. It’s too small for you!
Setbacks are setups
Today’s Your Daily Reprieve also quotes Bertie Charles Forbes: “History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.”
A Setback Is Just a Setup for a Comeback! The winners in our rooms aren’t people who never got anything wrong. They’re people who refused to quit on themselves.
Five ways to put the pencil back to work today
- Spot check at noon and at night. Ask yourself: Do I owe anyone an apology? What did I do well? Write both down. The good counts too.
- Own it in one sentence. “I was short with you earlier, and I’m sorry.” Then stop. No speech, no self-punishment.
- List your five favorite excuses. That’s today’s Action for the Day in Keep It Simple. Seeing them on paper takes away a lot of their power.
- Do one kind thing for your mind, body, or spirit. A walk, a meeting, a call to your sponsor, a real meal. Self-care is part of the program.
- Write one new line. Pick one small goal for today and finish it. A phone call, a page of reading, ten minutes of exercise. Excellence is the drive to take action, so take one.
Keep writing
Every page in recovery has smudges. That’s fine. The goal isn’t a spotless page. The goal is a full one, written one honest day at a time, with gratitude for every line God lets us add.
So go easy on the eraser. Learn, forgive yourself, and get back to writing. Life is GOOOOOOOD!!!
What’s one line you’ll write today instead of erasing yesterday?
Go, Go, Go… Dan 🙂
Books quoted in this post:
- Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life!
- Daily Reflections
- Twenty-Four Hours a Day
- Courage to Change
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Reflection note: I wrote this from my own daily readings. Quotes belong to their original authors and sources (Keep It Simple daily meditations, quoting Josh Jenkins; Your Daily Reprieve, quoting Lori Deschene and Bertie Charles Forbes; Daily Reflections / Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.; Twenty-Four Hours a Day / Hazelden Foundation; Courage to Change / Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.; Matthew Kelly, Feminine Genius, via the Dynamic Catholic Daily Reflection; Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life!). I used AI to help organize it and reviewed it before posting. Image created with AI assistance.