“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.” — Jim Rohn
One day at a time life gets better and better and better. I recently re-wrote my mission statement for a class I am taking as part of my doctoral program. While I was preparing for it I had to take a good look at my life, my history, my future and keep it all in perspective and in today, the present. Over the years I have learned that people mature differently, they react differently and they live their lives differently. However, it is none of my business. How they choose to live their life is their prerogative.
I have learned that how I respond to people is not necessarily the way they will respond to me. How I treat people is not how they will treat me. All of us have the same radio station playing between our ears, it is WIFM, “What’s In it For Me”! It is impossible to be completely selfless, however, there is a time when we must be attuned to the other person. In recovery it is part of our program to be cheerful givers. To be astute listeners and offer feedback based upon our experience strength and hope.
When we run into folks that simply can not do that we have the tendency to feel resentful towards them. However, a resentment that festers is a huge obstacle to peace of mind, sobriety! Understand that people are people, people will let you down, however it is usually not intentional. That is correct it is usually not intentional. They often are overwhelmed in their own stuff that they can’t see past their noses to care about yours.
There are various way to handle the resentment, depending upon the person that this comes from. If they are family members, an open line of communication is best. However, never argue the fact with them. In other words, you may bring it up to them and say, hey yesterday I was talking to you about X and you completely ignored me and I am feeling hurt and angry about it. If they respond with, “well, you do that to me all the time, in fact last week…” Please do not go there it is a fruitless argument. The only response to this is, I am sorry you feel that way, the next time I do something like that to you please let me know, as for yesterday I am simply letting you know how I feel. I could write out several scenarios but you get the point.
The Jim Rohn quote is especially a good one for me. Personally, for many years I succumbed to the fear of failure and did not allow myself to believe in my purpose, my mission, my vision. I allowed my vision and mission to be directed by others. It never worked because I fought it and did not realize it. We all have a destiny to fulfill we must all take the bull by the horns and live up to our talents and aspirations. Anything less is a waste! We are letting ourselves, our family, friends, and God down.
Go, Go, Go…