I Am What I Am!

by

“I have learned how to be honest. What a relief! No more ducking or dodging. No more tall tales. No more pretending to be what I am not.”

That’s from today’s page of Twenty-Four Hours a Day, and I had to smile at the line that comes right after it: “‘I am what I am,’ as Popeye used to say in the comics.”

Popeye! A cartoon sailor with a pipe and a can of spinach, and he nailed one of the biggest gifts of recovery. When we stop pretending, we get our energy back. All the effort we used to spend keeping our stories straight, managing what people thought of us, acting tougher or nicer or smarter than we felt… we get to set it down.

Today let’s talk about honest self-acceptance. The kind that sees the whole picture, the good and the not-so-good, and then gets to work.

My cards are on the table

The same reading keeps going: “My cards are on the table for all the world to see.” Then it gets real: “I have had an unsavory past. I am sorry, yes. But it cannot be changed now. All that is yesterday and is done.”

I’ve got an unsavory past too. I spent the years from 20 to 23 in prison. I can’t change one day of that. What I can do is quit hiding from it and quit letting it run my life.

In Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life! I wrote a line I come back to all the time: “That is not who you are that is what you have done!” Your past is information. It is not your identity.

Humility is just telling the truth

Matthew Kelly’s reflection from Dynamic Catholic this morning gave me a definition of humility I love. He says humility “is the ability to see yourself truthfully,” and then he names the whole list: “your strengths, weaknesses, dignity, limitations, gifts, and need for God,” seen “without exaggerating or diminishing any of them.”

Look at that list again. Strengths and gifts are on it!

A lot of us came into recovery thinking humility meant beating ourselves up. That isn’t humility. That’s the ego wearing a different costume. Real humility is accurate. It doesn’t puff you up, and it doesn’t tear you down.

The paradox that changes everything

Daily Ponderables shared a quote from Carl Rogers, from On Becoming a Person, that every counselor ought to tape to the wall: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

After more than 40 years in human services, I believe that one with my whole heart. Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s an honest starting point. You have to know where you’re standing before you can take the next step.

That’s why I wrote in Success-Full, Living Life with Purpose: Recovery Mode, “I truly believe in “self-improvement” over “self-help.”” Self-improvement starts with what is RIGHT with you and builds from there.

Drop the chameleon act

There’s another kind of dishonesty that sneaks in after the drinking stops. It’s the people-pleasing kind. Today’s page of A Day at a Time describes a true self that was “buried beneath my desperate need for approval from others.”

Deepak Chopra, quoted in Your Daily Reprieve, offers a way out: “Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge.”

The need to be approved. Oof. That one runs a lot of us long after the last drink. But you can’t be honest with people and also be whatever they want you to be. Pick honest. It’s a whole lot less work!

A Day at a Time also passes along a line from an unnamed philosopher: “of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” There’s treasure in you. Recovery hands you the shovel.

Five ways to practice “I am what I am” today

  • Take a two-column inventory. On one side, write three strengths. On the other, three things you’re working on. Keep both lists honest, and keep them the same length.
  • Retire one tall tale. Is there a story you stretch or a fact you dodge? Tell the plain truth about it to someone you trust.
  • Catch one approval move. Notice the moment you agree or laugh just to be liked. Pause, and say what you actually think, kindly.
  • Separate the deed from the person. When old shame shows up, say out loud, “That is not who I am. That is what I did.”
  • Ask someone what’s right with you. Call a friend from your mutual support circle and ask them to name one strength they see in you. Then just say thank you.

Grateful for an open book

The Twenty-Four Hours page puts it simply: “But now my life is an open book. Come and look at it, if you want to.”

I’m grateful I don’t have to hide anymore. I’m grateful God made me with real gifts and real limits and loves me with both. A Day at a Time closes today’s page with a line worth carrying around all day: “I’m getting to be who I want to be.”

So are you. Life is GOOOOOOOD!!!

Today’s reading asks a question I’ll pass along to you: “Am I really honest?” What’s one thing about yourself, good or hard, that you’re ready to stop hiding today?

Go, Go, Go… Dan 🙂

Books quoted in this post:

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A note on anonymity: Although I write about Alcoholics Anonymous and its literature here, nothing in this post should be taken to imply my membership in any specific mutual support group, in keeping with Tradition Eleven.

—

Reflection note: I wrote this from my own daily readings. Quotes belong to their original authors and sources (Twenty-Four Hours a Day, October 23 / Hazelden Foundation, via Daily Ponderables; Matthew Kelly, Feminine Genius, via the Dynamic Catholic Daily Reflection; Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person, via Daily Ponderables; A Day at a Time / Hazelden, via Your Daily Reprieve; Deepak Chopra, via Your Daily Reprieve; Recovery Thinking, 90-Days to Change Your Life! and Success-Full, Living Life with Purpose: Recovery Mode). I used AI to help organize it and reviewed it before posting.

Image created with AI assistance.