Since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same.” – Lois McMaster Bujold
This marks my thirtieth year in the pursuit of happiness, recovery. As I reflect back at the highs and lows I am amazed at how I have overcame the hurdles. Certainly the hand of God was with me that is clear to me in hindsight. For eight years I wavered, I went from justifying my choices to continue to drink on occasion with beliefs like; “well it was the cocaine, the meth, the barbituates…” When I answered the questions about alcohol I always had an excuse. For instance, when asked “have you ever blacked out due to the use of alcohol?” My answer was no, why? Well if you ate a handful of downs and drank you would forget what you did as well. It is normal! I figured that the rules of test taking applied to all tests and I would not allow them to change the rules for their benefit. If a 65% is passing in school well then it applies to this test as well. I answered four “yes” and 6 “no” so to me that was a 40%, I did not have a problem with alcohol, it was the drugs!
Well, fortunately for me that was the beginning of the idea of recovery for me! In fact there were times in the first 8 years that I abstained from all mind altering substances. Up to 3 years in fact. The key for me was and is that the imperfection of my thinking and recovery allowed me to grow, change directions & my strategy. Today I am grateful for it all, the journey has strengthened my resolve and life.
Life is great! Go, Go, Go…