When it comes to recovery the rehabilitation process can be described as difficult at best. Often individuals and families have responded to their personal traumas differently. There was a time in my life that the “why” of it all seemed so important. I would read about the experiences of folks that responded differently to the same, similar or radically worse experiences and they came out the other side of it all extremely differently.
Slowly over the course of time and my studies I have developed techniques to overcome these varying oppressive responses. As an individual that has experienced varying degrees of trauma as well I looked at my responses that worked and did not. As I have come to find out, many of my experiences have created a sense of self-guilt, shame and fear. These feelings are cunning, baffling and quite frankly, lies.
Sandy was 13 years old and pregnant for the second time. No, this is not a story of a modern day teenage pregnancy this is February 1957. The father of the baby is Sandy’s father on both occasions. For more than three years, her father has raped Sandy on a daily basis.
The first pregnancy was terminated but this time Sandy was taken to deliver the child and give the child up for adoption. But Sandy has other options on her mind. On that blustery February evening Sandy makes her way to the nursery where she locates her son. She wraps her sleeping son into her coat and escapes from the adoption center.
Sandy makes her way miles from the center to an abandoned building. It is there that she stops and comes to the realization that her son, her future, her reason to live has passed on.
Sandy Brewer is the author of “Pursuit of Light, An Extraordinary Journey.” Her book accounts a horrific childhood, including parental verbal abuse, physical abuse, an attempt on her life by her parents and the incomprehensible brutal daily rape from the age of 10 to 14 by her father!
Through all of this terror Sandy sought the “Light”, to survive. Yet through it all Sandy carried this inconceivable guilt, this incredible lie that she was a terrible human being for causing the death of her son! This is the lie this is the incredible power of our mind. This is what creates this sense of self-guilt, shame and fear.
Some modes of treatment start with the premise that this trauma is the underlying cause of the addiction. Treat the symptom and you treat the person. I am not here to debate the causes of addiction nor any specific treatment modality. I am keenly aware that we all utilize both positive and negative coping mechanisms to alleviate the pain. We use these self-developed tools to stay alive and to avoid a complete mental breakdown. For some of us we use foreign substances.
On page 100 of this exemplary piece of work, Sandy states, “The launch point for our potentials begins and ends with us, for it is not what happens to us in life that is the greatest challenge. What we decide to do with it will determine how we lead ourselves up the mountain.”
At The Last Resort Panama, Panama’s premiere recovery center we are prepared to assist you with what Sandy outlines in chapter 22 as the choices necessary to achieve change:
1) Adopt a living-philosophy/point of view/passionate belief system that is greater than your history and/or pain.
2) Make the choice that you are not the victim.
3) Let go of your attachment to drama.
4) Do unto others… Life is in many ways a mirror. The ways in which you repeatedly, both overtly and covertly, criticize/judge others is a reflection back to yourself…
Recovery starts with rehabilitation. Rehabilitation is the foundation for your recovery. Without it your recovery is grounded in sand. Let The Last Resort Panama help you build your recovery, your legacy, you deserve it.
Peace,
Dan ☺