Alone in a Crowded Room

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you—until then. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

Today’s daily reflection cited this text from page 164 of the “Big Book”.  I quote it today because it lists the components to attain joy succinctly.  Drug and alcohol addiction steals our joy, sure there are times we are happy, and times we are having fun.  But for the most part the inner joy that we realize when we are clean and sober well, that is missing.

I remember back to my turning point in life in 1988, there I was on the outside everyone thought I was having fun, if you were around me or with me you would think, “boy this guy is a pisser”!  Fun to be around.  But on the inside, I was alone, lonely, fearful and sad.  Alone in a crowded room.  Alone in my thoughts, I wanted to be dead.  Fortunately, addiction recovery brought me hope and joy.  I remember sharing in a twelfth step meeting as everyone was sharing about a spiritual experience; I shared that my spiritual experience came as a realization that I have stopped laying in bed and praying to God that I will not wake up tomorrow!  That is my joy, the joy of living in action!

Today I am no longer alone in a crowded room.  Life is gooooood!

Go, Go, Go…

Dan 🙂